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Literature Text
We were ships passing in an open bay,
our red sails melting like an eclipse;
in that moment, we filtered out all light
and let our eyes glow from beneath our lids;
but moments are fleeting and ships pass
and our anchors drop in the close embrace
of other harbours.
our red sails melting like an eclipse;
in that moment, we filtered out all light
and let our eyes glow from beneath our lids;
but moments are fleeting and ships pass
and our anchors drop in the close embrace
of other harbours.
Literature
Quiet Supper
Quiet Supper
Rush home, my love.
Are you going to make it,
home on time?
(ring)
I've been here so long
(ring)(ring)
cooking your favorite
meals:
a soup of colour,
(yellow)(yellow)
the oven sweats while our dishes
and spoons, and knives,
and knives,
(yellow)
are waiting
here for you home.
Oh, will you make it
home on time?
No. No I will not,
beloved.
(ring)
My love, such evil --
such black and evil birds
am I hearing;
(ring, ring).
The chickapees are chirping,
chirping in the yellow
(yellow)
fields of wheat.
Here they go again (sing, sing);
sing.
The thrushes are rushing,
(sing)(sing) they warble;
they sing.
they sing in the blue
nig
Literature
Matchstick
irreplaceable yet unnecessary
leave me in your retrospect
where you found me, unwanted & with a question mark over my head
or a Matchstick, maybe
I'm the fire you started &
couldn't put out
the one you doused &
the One you'll freeze without.
Literature
New phase
I wish for someone to love me,
but then I think when they will look at me
with love and acceptance in their eyes
I'll cry,
I'll cry all day long...
But what if they are ok with it?
What if they are patient with me,
and wait, till the day I will stop crying.
Oh please be patient with me.
I cry now, because I need to grieve
I need to cry away the years I was alone
the years I passed with people without love
for me.
Oh be patient with me,
and you will see the day I'll stop crying
for I'll always smile
when I see the love and patience in your eyes.
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26/8/14
About a boy I met a few weeks back and haven't seen since
*hastily uploaded since it's the first time dA has worked properly here in China for me!
Edit: Featured ezradeacon.deviantart.com/jour…
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Let's talk about WORDS
TWG's Featured Deviant of the Month - October 2014
About a boy I met a few weeks back and haven't seen since
*hastily uploaded since it's the first time dA has worked properly here in China for me!
Edit: Featured ezradeacon.deviantart.com/jour…
lissomer.deviantart.com/journa…
d-e-l-e-t-e-d.deviantart.com/j…
Let's talk about WORDS
TWG's Featured Deviant of the Month - October 2014
© 2014 - 2024 comatose-comet
Comments30
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First things first; what really grabbed me here was the title. I love that title; it is so eloquent, and it already manages to evoke images. A fleet of maybes, a navy of what ifs. I could ramble about this for a while, I just consider the title itself a stroke of genius. It makes my small writer's soul very happy to read. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="357" title="Heart"/>
The one thing I find rather tiring about this is the subject. It is not a new one (but then, these days, what is?), and I personally feel I've seen this, read this, maybe even wrote it too many times before, so the theme appears cliché and I feel overfed with it - you save yourself though, through the brevity of this and the metaphors.
It's not "a shared smile, never saw them again", but it's ships sailing past each other, and instead of simply going into different directions, they "let their anchors drop in the close embrace / of other harbours". Those last two lines reconciled me with your piece, because - again - pure genius, beautiful metaphor, wonderfully worded! Maybe ships need harbours more than they need other ships?
All in all, this very nicely puts the feeling into words you get when looking at strangers through a bus window, wondering if you could love any of them, wondering if any of them could love you. I adore the ships-metaphor so much the "let our eyes glow beneath our lids" part almost feels too human to me, but that might be personal preference here.
Very nice work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="20" height="20" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="60" title="Clap"/>